In every realm children are the most precious, the most pure souls. No matter what, there is nothing in this universe that is more innocent and sweeter than a child’s soul. They give and take all the love that they can get.
As a child I was protected. My parents loved me and they showed me that. When I screwed up things, I was punished but overall it was wonderful.
It doesn`t matter that I`ve always screwed up I had a beautiful childhood.
Even though I was the only girl in the family, I was the most savage and restless among my brothers. I think I should have been be a boy.
I grew up near a train station maintenance and we had a lot of meadow nearby.
I used to go and eat mirabelles and apples there. There was our playground. The security of the station always used to ran after us but it was fun. We played there all the time and no one could do a damn thing about it.
When I was 10, I climbed one of the stone fences around there and ate plums from the tree and there he was…
A tall dark hair man, around 30. He was right behind me, on the fence and he touched me.
He scared me so badly that I jumped off the fence, but he jumped too one step backwards. I was too young, too afraid and too confused to know what to do. I wanted to run but my feet didn`t listen to me.
The voice in my head screamed at me to run, to yell, to kick, to do something but I couldn`t do anything. I was so scared. He grabbed me, and in a blink of an eye I was down in the grass with him above me, looking at me in a very strange way. He didn`t let his body on mine, he just watched me and then his hands run all over my body. My small chest, my waist, my neck. His eyes were shiny and now that I think about it, he didn`t want me to be afraid. He was gentle but I was so scared. I was shocked and scared and didn`t know what to do, how to react….
My words were stuck in my throat.
The voice in my head kept screaming at me, but I was so little, so young and so scared that I couldn`t react. My vision was blurry because of my withheld tears.
I stood there, frozen in a place while his hands were all over my body.
It was disgusting, repulsive, scaring and painful and I did nothing. I just couldn’t.
I didn`t know much back then but I knew that it was something bad. I felt sick because something bad was about to happen to me. I watched so many action movies with Van Dame, I was such a badass in my neighborhood, and still…that moment I just stood, and let that horrible man do things to me.
From nowhere a dog appeared near us. I almost could touch him, that close he was to me.
And then, everything changed. Goats. A man yell at another dog, but I couldn`t see him. I just hear sounds, and a dog barking, and a voice, another than the voice in my head.
I found myself alone with the dog barking at me. And then I saw the goats, and the man was nowhere to be seen.
For a moment I forget to breath.
I get up and I left, with the dog behind me, barking.